


yoda would vape send tweet

by destiny919



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: And Kenobi's Not Much Better, Comedy, Crack, Drabble, Drug Use (Mentioned), Gen, Mace Windu Is So Tired, Why Is Anakin Like This, of course obikin is implied just by virtue of me writing this, yoda is weed grandpa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-12 01:42:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17458202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/destiny919/pseuds/destiny919
Summary: A few years before even the Battle of Naboo, Master Yoda agrees to retire as Grand Master of the Order.





	yoda would vape send tweet

**Author's Note:**

> this is so dumb i came up with the first part over the summer while i sat in the waiting room during my sister's eye doctor appointment for three hours. and then i changed the document to comic sans tonight and wrote the rest of it.

"Master," Mace said patiently, "you're 900 years old. You have trained me and countless other Jedi well. It's time to take a step back, to appreciate the fruits of your wisdom freely."

"Hmm," Yoda said. "Right, perhaps you are. Spend more time simply watching over the Temple, I should. Teach other important lessons to the younglings, I can."

"Master, I don't think tripping Initiates with your gimer stick is teaching-"

"Nonsense," Yoda cut him off. "My greatest tool when teaching you, this gimer stick was. Recall this, you do not?"

"I remember being whacked on the head with it," Mace agreed tiredly. He's so tired. It's amazing how the extra workload caused by Yoda stepping down as Grand Master will still lead to him being  _ less _ tired.

"And very well, you turned out," Yoda said. "Well enough that agree with you, I do. Step down, I will."

Mace was honestly shocked. He never expected his stubborn, prideful old master to agree so easily. He expected the argument to not only drag on much longer, but need to be repeated many times in the coming years. 

"Of course, mean you are now Grand Master of the Order, this does," Yoda continues. "Accept this responsibility, you do?"

Mace bowed. "It is the greatest honor I could receive." Now maybe he can actually fix some things around here.

\--

Mace Windu, Grand Master of the Jedi Order for fifteen years now, stared blankly at the holo-footage.

Multiple explosions went off in the background as Anakin Skywalker ran pell-mell towards a rickety ship, an out-dated astromech droid and six gundarks all in hot pursuit. 

"Master," Mace said. "Did you know this would happen?"

Yoda, well settled into retirement now - he spent most of his time on Bandomeer, "supervising" the Agricorps from a primitive rocking chair and smoking one of the "experimental" crops - cracked a smile next to him.

"Had a vision not long before you asked, I did," he cackled. "Of Skywalker and Kenobi, it was!"

"Oh, stars above," Windu said.

"Ran off and left you holding the bag, I did!"

"Yes, I get it." He leaned forward slowly, until his prematurely frown-wrinkled forehead rested on the edge of the holo-panel. "You're here now, however. What should I do about them?"

Yoda silently held out the pipe in his hand, and Mace stared at it for a long minute.

"Yeah," he said, and accepted the pipe without another word. 

**Author's Note:**

> come get fuckin blazed with yoda and windu over on [my blog](http://tarvek-sturmvoraus.tumblr.com/). god they'd be the worst people to get high with
> 
> credit to ya buddy [Space](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicalSpaceDragon/pseuds/MagicalSpaceDragon) for the "ran off and left you holding the bag, i did" line


End file.
